Ever found yourself grappling with the commercialization of Christmas, struggling to keep Christ at the heart of your celebrations? In our latest episode, we explore this challenge with an inspiring conversation with Kathryn McAdam, the host of Unstoppable Joy. We delve into some practical tips for maintaining a Christ-centered focus during the holiday season - from breaking free from the pursuit of holiday perfection to cherishing nostalgic traditions like family caroling. Kathryn also shares a unique idea of limiting gifts to three as a nod to the presents Jesus received, and crafting an advent calendar that tells a story.
But, the holiday season isn't always joyful for everyone. Kathryn bravely opens up about her personal experiences with addiction and loneliness during this time, offering comforting advice on finding solace and joy, even in the face of challenging circumstances. The conversation takes a turn as we touch on the heartwarming practice of gratitude and serving others as a way to truly appreciate our blessings. As Kathryn recounts her life journey and love for Jesus, her testimony is a poignant reminder of how trials and tribulations can be blessings in disguise. So come along and join us in our quest for a Christ-focused Christmas season, finding joy in the trials, and serving others with gratitude.
Ever found yourself grappling with the commercialization of Christmas, struggling to keep Christ at the heart of your celebrations? In our latest episode, we explore this challenge with an inspiring conversation with Kathryn McAdam, the host of Unstoppable Joy. We delve into some practical tips for maintaining a Christ-centered focus during the holiday season - from breaking free from the pursuit of holiday perfection to cherishing nostalgic traditions like family caroling. Kathryn also shares a unique idea of limiting gifts to three as a nod to the presents Jesus received, and crafting an advent calendar that tells a story.
But, the holiday season isn't always joyful for everyone. Kathryn bravely opens up about her personal experiences with addiction and loneliness during this time, offering comforting advice on finding solace and joy, even in the face of challenging circumstances. The conversation takes a turn as we touch on the heartwarming practice of gratitude and serving others as a way to truly appreciate our blessings. As Kathryn recounts her life journey and love for Jesus, her testimony is a poignant reminder of how trials and tribulations can be blessings in disguise. So come along and join us in our quest for a Christ-focused Christmas season, finding joy in the trials, and serving others with gratitude.
Just praying that prayer. Lord, show me what you're doing so I can join in right, cause he's always doing something good, he's always got a good plan and he's always out to bless people and if you are willing vessel to be used to be a blessing, then he will show you, he will open the door.
Speaker 2:Hey there, welcome back. I'm Karen Hall, your host of the Hero Within podcast. I'm passionate about sharing inspiring true stories of unsung heroes who've overcome some of life's most challenging adversities. Come along with me and learn how you, too, can find hope and healing to return to love. I would like to welcome our guest, catherine McAdams. She's the host of Unstoppable Joy and I am just so happy to hear from her. Catherine's a wonderful friend and she has some wonderful tips that she would like to share with us about how to keep Christ in Christmas. So many times when we're busy with you know, it's the perfect gift to give to somebody and we're entertaining and all the hustle and bustle that goes on with Christmas Sometimes our focus is not on Christ, and so I wanted to have Catherine share some of her thoughts about how to make sure that we focus on Christ personally and how we can help our family focus on Christ. So, catherine, thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 1:Hello, thank you for having me. So let's just face it there's just so much hype around Christmas, right, we have really just lost sight of what Christmas is really supposed to be, and for so many it's a burden. It's that feeling of I've got to have everything perfect and I don't want my kids to be disappointed. And we bring all this baggage from when we were kids, thinking I didn't get the gift I wanted, and when mom was in the kitchen all day and I didn't get to do the things or have the things that my friends had, and you bring that thought and those memories to your adulthood and I think the first stop in being able to enjoy the holidays is give yourself a break. Just, really just own up to the fact that you know what, even with all the best plans, I've had Christmases where I worked tirelessly to make sure I had everything in place and then all my kids got sick and I wasn't able to go to visit my family because we literally got in the car to go and someone was vomiting, you know. So like, oh well, there goes our Christmas plans, right. So just take that pressure off. It doesn't have to be perfect, but and the whole thing about Christmas is enjoying our savior's birth for one and then enjoying our families, and when we take that pressure off of having to perform and be and do and have everything in place and have the perfect decorated tree and everything in order, it allows you to just say okay, you know, just relax and enjoy it. Right? If we put that pressure on ourselves, it's misery. Right? We have enough pulling at our attention, wanting our time and our money. So I think that's the very first thing to do.
Speaker 1:When I was little of one of eight kids, and so you can only imagine the chaos that was going on in our home around Christmas time. But my parents always made a point of having a yearly Christmas party, an ethnic Christmas party. Then we would always have one of our friends that was from a different country come and tell us what Christmas was like in their country, what the traditions were, and we would have that type of food and we'd have decorations. That's just an idea of getting kids opening their mind and their eyes to see that it's all not about here, that Christmas is celebrated around the world and in different ways people bring to light the different traditions and the different gifts and the ways that they celebrate in different countries. So that was one thing that my parents did and then we always would go Christmas caroling as a family. That's one way of ensuring that your kids are being festive and doing something fun and not just self-focused.
Speaker 1:So how do you get kids to focus not on themselves at the holidays? Because that's, I guess, kind of the challenge as parents is we set the example right. So, first of all, taking the stress off of mom or dad of performing and being and doing everything right. So for my kids I limited their gifts to three gifts. I said Jesus got three gifts. You can only get three gifts, at least from me, and of course you know grandma's and grandpa's spoiled them, rotten, but like me, I was like you can only get three gifts. Jesus got gold, frankincense and myrrh, and so you will get three gifts from me.
Speaker 1:The other thing that I did with them, which I thought was a lot of fun, is we had ornaments that were leading up to Christmas and it was almost like an advent calendar type thing where every day you read a portion of the story of Christ and you had an ornament that went along with that portion that you put on the tree, and so you kind of walked through, you know, the days leading up to the birth of Christ, with focusing then on the true meaning of Christmas, which is the birth of Christ. And then to help them remember that, we put these little storybooks of the different parts of the story and we would hang those on the tree. And we did that for years, even into when they were in high school, and we still have these little books and Put them on the tree at times. So my kids enjoy remembering in the one that the dog chewed on, and we have that one still and bringing back those memories. This is kind of fun With kids.
Speaker 1:There's so many fun things that you can do and make Make the ornaments that you will hang on the tree. With my kids when they were a little, and Even sometimes as they're big now, I get a big, giant piece of paper and we would get crayons and they would have, we'd have crayons at the table all the time for every Meal and they would sit there and they would doodle on that paper and, as I would read, they would draw pictures. Every day we, when we had family dinner together, we would have devotions at that time, or every them a story, and and so it was just time for us to spend together as a family, and Then we can cut out those pictures and put them on the tree or, using clay would be fun to have them make their little ornaments, and those are just neat things to have down the way. Some other fun things that we did is we would have a birthday party for Jesus and we would actually decorate a cake and we would talk about what we could give Jesus for Christmas instead of what we could we get. Other things that we did during the holidays for my kids, as we adopted a family that was in need.
Speaker 1:There were days or times Early on when I ended up being homeless with my kids and we ended up living with my sister. One of the churches adopted us and they actually took us to the mall and Then the kids each went without an adult and picked out a gift for me, and, of course, they gave me money to buy gifts for the for the kids as well, which was just awesome, and so to, in a way, to give it back. We would also like adopt a family or friends when we knew that they were in need. We would make sure that they got a nice Christmas gift and you know we're able to bless them with that. Of course, we were always sharing Christmas cookies. Of course, you know, christmas morning we would always try to read again, read, read through the story of Christ, the birth of Christ, in In Luke, where it talks about the journey that they made and the wise men and the birth of Christ. Again, bring the focus back on what the whole day is supposed to be about. Right.
Speaker 2:So when you were undergoing that stress of being homeless and being a single mom, sometimes when we have external stress like that, it can be really hard to keep our focus on Christ. And so how did you personally keep your focus on Christ so that you could help your kids keep their focus on Christ?
Speaker 1:so a lot of my time that first nine months of being homeless was actually I was in nursing school and and I was commuting. We had moved in with my sister who lived in Holland, michigan, and I was commuting a couple hours away. So I was always, you know, spending time in praise and worship in my car. I was driving, listening to sermons, trying to remember the reason of the season, really just worship. I love the carol, oh come all you faithful, and the joyful sound of that hymn and the chorus, and just remembering, really, just Purposely putting your focus on Christ, because that's what you have to do. Right, we have all this coming at us, we've got all these stressors, we've got all this pressure to do and be just, even in our everyday lives, and then you add a heap on the Christmas hype, right, and If we're not careful we can get caught up in all of that. So it's it's basically remembering and purposely spending time thinking about and making a plan. If you fail the plan, you plan to fail. We have to, we have to like, be purposeful.
Speaker 1:So much is coming at these kids these days and it's hard to rain that in and get them to to realize the importance of that day some other fun things I thought about. We didn't necessarily do this, but acting out the nativity as a family, I think that would be a lot of fun, you know, having the dog be the sheep. Growing up in a household of eight kids, we did a lot of skits and a lot of plays. The other thing that we did a lot growing up is my dad made these great scavenger hunts for us and Just incorporating that into you know, hiding the baby Jesus from the nativity and having it be a hide and seek like where is baby Jesus today, instead of like the out on the shelf where's baby Jesus? Let's find him. Yeah, and that's interesting way to you know, get your kids focus on. This is what we're really seeking here. This is what the purpose of this whole season is.
Speaker 2:I love that, because you're literally seeking for Jesus and then you can tell them about seeking for him personally.
Speaker 1:You know, and yeah my, my oldest son can I love when he was just little like he was a toddler probably to and I walked by the nativity and baby Jesus was missing and he had in his pocket.
Speaker 2:he wanted baby Jesus near him, so that's so cute, so he started scavenger tradition with yeah, that's so. So Catherine has been a guest on my podcast and she shares her story and so if you haven't listened to it, you'll want. You'll want to go listen. It's Catherine Wilson in the podcast. She's remarried now. She's Catherine Macadam. Catherine, if you could go back to those days when, when life was far from perfect and your ex husband was dealing with his addictions because a lot of times people can really suffer with addictions during the holidays, and if Any of our listeners have a member of their family who is in that situation, that can a lot of extra stress and a lot of discouragement. Where we can, you can really feel like Christ. Where are you? You know if I'm seeking you, but, but I but I'm not feeling you, not feeling that peace that the spirit can bring. What suggestions do you have? Because I know you lived through that and probably experienced some of those feelings as well.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely for me it's. The Lord speaks to me in visions at times and I remember, in the days after the divorce, being homeless and really just struggling to sense the presence of the Lord. And because of the whole drug addiction thing, and when you're in a situation where your loved one is an addict, there's a lot of mind games that go on. There's a lot of questioning, for instance, home. You know when they they repeatedly go out and use and then they'll come in and you're like you know that, you know that they were just out using and you, and if you confront them, they were like how can you believe? How can you say that? How would you? How can you doubt that I would, that I would go and do that, and you know. So there's all these mind games. You start to question, like your small voice, you know the spirit leading you and and and that knowing, you start to question whether you can hear from the Lord, you question yourself, you question your sanity, you know, and and so in those days after I just you know it was really hard I felt like God, why aren't you answering my prayer? Like, why, why would you not want our family to be together? I'm looking back now. It is the grace of God that he allowed me to I'm flee and get out from underneath that oppression and that abuse.
Speaker 1:I'm mentally, physically, emotional abuse and you know it's got leading me out, but it was. It wasn't easy. Sometimes the Lord asked us to do things that just are not easy. And In those days afterwards I remember like just feeling so dry and I had a dream and I saw myself. I was in a chair and I was chained and I was. I was basically held over like a big canyon, like I was being like tormented and tortured, and I remember hearing the Lord's voice say the way you're going to get out of this is through praise. And it was like, okay, I know I need to start praising again because I had stopped praising. I had stopped because I've been a worship leader, I play guitar and I sing, I write music and I had set it down.
Speaker 2:You were probably having a hard time finding anything to praise about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. But we're told to give thanks to the Lord, Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again rejoice. And that was the key. The scripture talks about Saul having an oppressive spirit that would come on him and he would have David come and sing and play, and that was what would cause that to lift. And so I had to purpose to again. You have to be purposeful and I had to start praising the Lord. Even when things were hard, even when things didn't seem to be going the way I thought they should. I had to open my mouth and praise. And I tell you, the atmosphere in my home began to change because my kids were also very sad and broke.
Speaker 1:I tell a story about when we went to go see Santa Claus. I took my kids to a local bookstore the very first Christmas following our separation, because we were separated for an entire year before the doors was final. We were separated in September, and so this is December following that, and I remember going to the local bookstore where Santa Claus was and my kids wanted to talk to Santa Claus and we did allow them to believe in Santa, but we told them that he was who Jesus hired to deliver the gifts Anyway. So we were visiting with Santa and I kind of stepped away to kind of give the kids their space and so they could talk to Santa. And later on we got back home and my oldest son had asked Santa for a new daddy and just heartbreaking these kids. They're hurting and they need to know that, although Santa's not going to answer that prayer or that request, sometimes we want an easy out, we want a quick fix and of course I wrap my arms around him and let him know that it was going to be OK Even if daddy didn't come back. We were going to be just fine because we had a heavenly father. You just have to purpose that you're not going to allow what's happened in your past or your present to dictate what happens in the future.
Speaker 1:As we approach Christmas, I remember these times. I remember how hard it was. I remember the struggle and anybody's listening who is facing another Christmas alone, or there's so much loneliness at Christmas. It's so much. Even in a family you can feel lonely. You go to an event where all your siblings are married and have kids and here I am divorced and we're separated, and that could be so lonely, feeling like I don't belong anywhere. And how do I fit in and how do I find joy in this season? And, of course, training up your children, investing in them, that's good soil, that's good ground. The Lord, he says that not a single word of his returns to him void, but it accomplishes the plans and the purposes that he has. I'm sorry, anyway. So that's one thing that I say is invest in your kids. But then there's all kinds of things that you can do if you're single and feeling lonely at the holidays. Find others who are alone, some and just invite them for dinner.
Speaker 2:That reminds me when my kids were little and I'd send them out and say goodbye to them in the morning to go to school. I would say look for someone lonely. And, like you said, especially at Christmas there's so many people that are lonely and feeling like nobody cares. So it's such a beautiful time to extend ourselves to look for someone who's lonely. So that's a beautiful thing to think of.
Speaker 1:Especially nursing homes are a huge place for people that just don't have anybody right. They're stuck in the nursing home or the assisted living. They don't have people that are visiting them. They're missing their spouse, they're missing their kids, whether it's because of distance or their loved ones passed on. You feel that emptiness, more so at the holidays. I was talking to one of the other providers at work the other day and just talking, I don't know what it is about the holidays, but people in their illness a lot of times will spiral downward and we have people that pass away near the holidays. Their sickness just gets worse and I don't know what the phenomenon is, but it just is, and so knowing that and being sensitive to that was super important. Some things that I have all thought of, things that you can do to combat that loneliness, is offer to help a busy mom with little ones, help with her cooking, their shopping, their cleaning, childcare, anything right.
Speaker 2:Join a job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know right, just to come alongside somebody, and one which all focus on us. They say the biggest for depression is helping someone else. Right, when we are so focused and we feel so empty and we just it's like we just turn inward, there's no answer there, there's no relief there. And when you start getting your mind and your thoughts and your focus off of yourself and look for ways to be a blessing, that's where you're gonna find your joy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I remember when I was telling someone about how service helped me and they said but I'm too depressed to even do service. And I said I wonder if you could just press a couple keys on your phone and just send a text to someone. It doesn't have to be going out doing some big thing, it could be just letting someone know you're thinking of them, sending an emoji or a smiley face, just something simple. It doesn't have to be anything big to do service. The Lord is the perfect example of serving. When he was hurting. Here he is on the cross caring about the other people that are also being crucified, and so I think there's such a truth to that. If we can just do something, even something simple, we can make a difference in someone else's life and lift them, and then we feel the Lord is grateful for us for caring for one of his children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think to go along with that. Whenever I go to the grocery store, and especially around Christmas time, you'll see parents with their kids out there and the kids are a mess or whatever, and just saying to the parent you're doing a good job. Yes, don't we want to hear that? Yeah, like hey, you'll get through this.
Speaker 1:I know it's tough, but just try to chuckle a little bit, laugh it off a little bit more, because it's just kids, right, and just being able to say that to a mom or a dad who's juggling three kids in the check out, just opening your eyes and that's one thing too is just praying that prayer Lord, show me what you're doing so I can join in right, cause he's always doing something good, he's always got a good plan and he's always out to bless people. And if you are willing vessel to be used to be a blessing, then he will show you, he will open the door. And sometimes it's not very much fun. It could be you serving food at the homeless shelter or something which might be not your cup of tea, but at least if you are open to doing new things, you know who knows who you're gonna meet at the homeless shelter. There's other people volunteering. Maybe there's somebody that you can encourage.
Speaker 2:I remember when the holidays would come, a lot of times our family would do service and we would go sing to people like you were saying, caroline, but we would try and find shut-ins to sing to or people that were sick, or we would go to the hospital and sing. And I remember sometimes we'd go to the nursing home, but I always felt so guilty. I can't believe we're only going once. Why aren't we going every week to sing to these poor people that are suffering so much, they're so lonely? But then when I worked in the nursing home and I saw people come just at Christmas, we were so grateful that they came. The patients were so grateful that they came and what was interesting was it brought so much joy. We didn't care if they only came once a year, we were just so grateful they ever came and the patients were so grateful that anyone ever came and that they had a moment of relief.
Speaker 2:And that changed my whole perspective that even if I can only do it with my family once a year, it's still a good thing and it still brings joy to them. And it brought a lot of joy to us and to know that we were able to live someone's burden for a moment. You know, blessed our lives, and to see another person's life and to see what they're going through open my children's eyes to also appreciate their blessings and to have compassion for other people. So thank you so much for bringing that up, because I think there's so much value in asking the Lord who can I bless and who can I serve, and then, even if it's not convenient, to find a way to do what we can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it might just be clearing the snow off somebody's walkway for them. Just looking for those things that you can do to make connections, to build community, just opening your home to some neighbor kids or doing something that would take you outside of your bubble, right, we can so easily get trapped in our own home, especially COVID. Everybody is used to being by themselves, to themselves, keeping their distance.
Speaker 2:You know, catherine, I think that one of the things that's so interesting about saying our prayers and asking the Lord. He's more than happy if we ask to let us know where we can be of service and how we can be his hands to bless someone else, and to have that prayer in our heart as we go through the day to ask him to open our eyes. That's something that I've seen in you and I love your example of how you strive to stay close to the Lord throughout the day and listening to music that praises him and listening to the cast that praises him and brings those things back to our remembrance, listening to scriptures or something. And I love that because there can be some distractions with all the other bombardment from someone else that's struggling in our family or, like you said, with an addiction or something or somebody that is just distracting. That stress can impact us as the heart of the home, and so when that affects us, then that kind of ripples outward, and the same when we feel a greater measure of the spirit in our life and we feel close to the Lord, that also can ripple out and even if we don't see it, if we don't see that, it's making a difference in the addict's life or in somebody else having a meltdown, we can still know that the Lord is doing his work and in his timing, and that we can still work to be aligned with him and to still feel love for whoever and whatever is going on in our life. Thank you for reminding us to be grateful in all things, because I remember when I read that in the scriptures when I was young and I thought, oh thanks, how can I be grateful for this? I don't see any possible reason why anyone would ever be grateful for this. And having your husband be a drug addict, how could you be grateful for that? And yet I know that when you shared your story on the podcast, there were so many pearls that you brought up, and even just drawing nearer to the Lord to receive your strength from him was such an amazing thing to be grateful for.
Speaker 2:And sometimes it's harder in the moment to be grateful. It's easier to look back and be grateful. But God commands us to be grateful in all things in the present, because when we can try to find anything that we can be grateful for, I sometimes I'll say this prayer and I'll say I'm grateful for this thing and I don't even know what to be grateful for. But you know, you think there's a good reason and something good is going to come out of this, and so I'm thanking you in advance for the good thing that's going to come. And even that simple prayer has shifted my emotions and it has caused me to de-escalate when my emotions are escalated, to just be grateful for the good thing that he has in store and the lesson that I'm learning that I may not even be aware of them, yet I know he's the giver of all good things in there and I wouldn't be going through this unless there was something that was beneficial.
Speaker 2:And so I really appreciate your reminder to be grateful for all things, because I also just did an episode on the science of gratitude and it was so interesting to me to learn how we can rewire our brain through gratitude, and so many times we're trying to overcome depression or anxiety or resentment, and it's easy to feel those feelings when things aren't going the way we want at Christmas, and gratitude is the anecdote for that. So thank you so much. Thank you for your testimony, thank you for your love for Jesus and your connection with him that speaks so powerfully, and thank you for sharing your love for him with all of us, because I was so blessed getting to hear your love for Jesus and how he has acted in your life and blessed you and how you have drawn near to him and through your trials, and I just appreciate so much your life and your love for him. So thank you for sharing that with our listeners today. Thank you, karen.
Speaker 1:Gosh, you were such a blessing. It's been so amazing. We just keep on connecting every so often, and every time I do, I'm just like, oh, so blessed I feel way about you.
Speaker 2:So I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and I know we're all going to have a Merry or Christmas when we do those things that you have recommended and we focus on Christ. So thank you so much. Thank you, merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you too. Bye, bye. Thanks for listening. I know you're busy. Did you know that you help spread the love by leaving your review and following? This helps increase our visibility so people can find us online. I really appreciate your help. I'm wishing you lots of love in your own hero's journey.