The Hero Within Karen Hall

Jesus is Our Ultimate Hope; Reflections on Gratitude and Gifts After Suicide Loss With Lark Dean Galley

• Karen Hall • Season 1 • Episode 63

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Have you ever wondered how faith, hope, and love can guide us through the darkest chapters of our lives? In this thought-provoking episode, we will journey through the harsh realities of mental health struggles as we commemorate World Mental Health Day. We will discuss the power of taking action in times of despair, inspired by the profound words of poet Donna Ashworth. Join me as I sit with Lark Dean Galli, a courageous woman who faced the unbearable losses of her father and son to suicide, and found solace in her unyielding faith.

This episode will also probe into the depth of the Hebrew word for faith, 'emunah', revealing its essence of action and complete reliance on God. We will delve into the Bible, extracting wisdom from verses in Hebrews and Deuteronomy to frame our understanding of faith's role amid life's 'storms'. We will explore how these challenging times can catalyze our personal growth and fortify our faith, leading to a noticeable shift in our mindset. So let's navigate together, learn how hope, faith, and love can steer us from the bleakest of situations towards a future filled with light.

Speaker 1:

Hey there, welcome back. I'm Karen Hall, your host of the Hero Within podcast. I'm passionate about sharing inspiring true stories of unsung heroes who've overcome some of life's most challenging adversities. Come along with me and learn how you too can find hope and healing to return to love. Recent warning today's episode covers the topic of death by suicide and listener discretion is advised. If you or a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call or text the suicide hotline 988.

Speaker 1:

With the latest news in the world, I had to add an addendum to this podcast after I had recorded it. My heart is so heavy as I hear the news and often I am left feeling very sad. At times I even feel my hope waning. I believe it's because I feel helpless. I don't feel like my singular efforts make much difference.

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In honor of World Mental Health Day, I wanted to share some thoughts I recently read by one of my favorite poets, donna Ashworth, who says, and I quote it's World Mental Health Day, and there are many things I would love to discuss, but I'm going to focus on one timely one the world. Quite a large topic, I know, but if you, like me, are affected by the cruel goings on across our planet to the point where you feel as though it's happening to you. This may help. You see, I have always felt like I couldn't hack it on this earth, as though I was made of the wrong materials to survive. I have sensitive skin, sensitive eyes, a sensitive mind and a constantly bleeding, broken heart. Day to day hardships knock the air out of me. I crumble when the news shows faces of children abused or murdered and my day is ambushed by stories of human suffering and cruelty. The news, for me, has been something to avoid if I wanted to stay intact. I feel the collective and individual suffering in my gut like a swift kick, and the waves of panic and dread wash over me, rendering me motionless and hopeless for some time. On and on, this goes, rinse and repeat, and sometimes this hopelessness, this cruel world, has pushed me to the point of wanting to leave. Stop this ride. I want to get off. It is exhausting, but I have found ways to cope with being dry wood in a world on fire. I have found ways to process the inhuman cruelty of some, which my heart will never possibly understand, and let it become fuel for my light, because hopelessness comes from believing there is no way to help, and there is always a way to help. Always, avoidance does not help. Action helps, even if that action is loving everyone in your part of the world so fiercely that the energy of this good rises up into the atmosphere and adds to the collective chaos, bringing the balance back just a tiny bit. It is something, and if we all did that something, it would really be something. So, as the news gets more horrifying, I get busy loving, I get busy being kind, finding ways to help, finding people to help, finding words to help, and the effect of this action on my mental health has been the difference. I am not helpless, I am not hopeless. I am a human with much to give, much to share, much to contribute, and so are you, donna. End quote.

Speaker 1:

I had already been thinking about hope and hopelessness, as I have reflected a lot on my visit recently with Lark Dean Galli, who experienced the death of her father by suicide and then, four years later, she experienced the additional tragedy of losing her 19-year-old son, christian, to suicide as well. Lark described how she and her son had a turbulent relationship, with frequent arguments. She felt frustrated about how their relationship had drifted apart over the years, and when he was in college she met with him, seeking to heal the distance that had developed between them. She wanted to find ways to build on the love they had for each other. But shortly afterwards her hope for healing that relationship was dashed when Christian died. She couldn't understand his death. It just didn't make sense. He didn't seem hopeless because he had so many things going for him and he had things he was looking forward to. As Lark began the grieving process, she first dealt with shock and then anger. Lark is willing to be vulnerable and she is real. She doesn't sugarcoat things as she shares her raw pain.

Speaker 1:

In her book Learning to Breathe Again, choosing to Heal after Losing a Loved One to Suicide, lark explains how it is unnatural to die by suicide and a person has developed faulty thinking which causes them to overcome their natural feelings to live. One root of this faulty thinking is hopelessness. Hopelessness is one of the most painful feelings. Extreme hopelessness may be manifested in thinking that our problems are too big and that things won't ever get better, or that others would be better off without us around. We may think that we don't matter and that our dark feelings won't ever get better.

Speaker 1:

I've thought a lot about hope in my own life. I've had times when my adversity has gone on and on and, as it began to feel, hopelessness creep in. I pleaded with the Lord for hope. I went through a process in which my faith and trust in the Lord were stretched and then they grew and I felt the miracle of the Lord granting me the gift of hope. I remember during my adversity, people often asked me how I could feel happy. I was happy because I felt the Lord's hand in my life and he enabled me to be able to feel hope. The Lord strengthened my faith so that I felt a certainty in His promises, so that I was able to look forward with that assurance that things would get better.

Speaker 1:

Hebrews 11-1 says it perfectly Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Another way to say this is that faith is the confidence in Jesus that he will keep His promises, that he has given us and which we hope for. It is the assurance that, even though we can't see the things we hope for, we can trust in the Lord. I was able to feel hope because of the Lord's tender mercy to enable me to feel that hope and because he gave me the assurance that I could trust Him. Here's another beautiful verse Wherefore whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world. Yea, even a place at the right hand of God which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God. Ether 12-4.

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I love having the surety to hope for a better world and the principle that hope comes from faith. It takes a lot of faith and the Lord's grace to have this sure hope. This reminds me of a poem entitled Hope is the Thing with Feathers by Emily Dickinson, in which she uses imagery that conveys this confidence and trust. Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. And sweetest in the gale is heard, and sore must be the storm that could abash the little bird that kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chillest land and on the strangest sea, yet never in extremity it has to crumb of me". Emily Dickinson likens hope to a bird which courageously sings even though it doesn't know the words. Children sing like this. I loved hearing my little children, and now my grandchildren, happily sing songs that they don't know the words, and yet they sing anyway. In contrast, adults are often quiet and don't sing when they don't know the words.

Speaker 1:

Dickinson describes how hope sings in the soul, eternally, never stopping. This implies that no matter how hard life gets, hope is a constant guardrail that we can depend on. It doesn't vanish with storms of rain or snow. Nothing affects it. If we hold on to hope, we can be protected from falling into the depths of despair. Hope is there to cheer us in the darkest of nights. Some of our lowest moments are alone in the dark. There may be times when we feel so low that we may not hear the song, but the song continues on, despite whether we can hear it or not. Dickinson describes hope being the sweetest during the gales of a storm. During a dark, windy storm, it can feel scary, yet hope is like a light from a lighthouse that gives us a calm feeling that helps us move forward during the storms in our lives. Even in frigid, cold, hope keeps us warm. And in the strangest sea, when we may feel like we are in a foreign land, hope gives us comfort.

Speaker 1:

We often use hope in terms of wishful thinking. We might say we hope the weather is good or we hope the store doesn't close before we get there. But hope as believers, means something much more. Hope is confidence in God, an assurance that the Lord will bless us and that we can trust Him that His promises will be fulfilled in His timing. I learned some interesting things about hope in my studies and I wanted to share these things that have given me greater clarity about hope.

Speaker 1:

One of the Old Testament Hebrew words translated into hope is bata, which means to trust, to have confidence and to feel safe. These feelings are all the opposite of doubt. Bata is used in several scriptures, including in Isaiah 26-4, which says bata, or trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord Himself is the rock eternal. In Psalms 33-21 it says for our heart shall rejoice in Him because we have bata, or trusted in His holy name. In the New Testament, the Greek word elpis or elpizō means to have a joyful and confident expectation of good. One verse using elpis is Romans 8-23-25. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies, for in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. I thought that was great. Who hopes for what they already have? You just don't hope for something that you already have.

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Cs Lewis writes in Mirror Christianity, hope is one of the theological virtues. This means that a continual looking forward to the eternal world is not, as some modern people think, a form of escapism or wishful thinking, but one of the things a Christian is meant to do. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this. Aim AT HEAVEN AND YOU WILL GET EARTH. Thrown IN AIM AT EARTH AND YOU WILL GET NEITHER.

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In the previously mentioned verse in Hebrews 11-1, in which it says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The Greek word for hope is elpizo and can be translated as anticipation, expectation or confident expectation. Elpis or elpizo are often used in conjunction with another Hebrew word, emunah, which is the main Hebrew word in our Bible. That gets translated as faith. Emunah means faith or faithfulness, and implies action. Emunah indicates living with full reliance on the Lord. It is not just believing with an intellectual knowledge, but it is having the experience of wholehearted devotion, of acting in faith and trusting in God. Martin Luther King describes this faith-filled trust when we can't see the path, when he said faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.

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Dr Edmund Perry is a Methodist preacher and assistant professor of Bible and History of Religion at Duke University. In his article in the Journal of Bible and Religion, he describes emunah as trusting God with a steadfast faith or firm conviction in our hearts, he says. This steadiness, however, is not the result of stabilizing oneself with one's own resources. One steadies himself by taking hold of or supporting himself on something or someone regarded to be stable and reliable. This hope is not something that we can conjure up on our own, as hard as we might try. It is through our experience and through the Lord's grace that we grow in faith and hope.

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In Matthew 14 we read about an experience of the disciples when they were in a boat on the sea during a terrible storm. In verse 22 we read Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side while he dismissed the crowd. This seems to indicate that Jesus compelled the disciples, or made them go, or insisted that they get into the boat and to go ahead of him to the other side while he sent the crowds away. This sounds like he intentionally sent them alone into the storm. David Adamson, director of Israel U, remarked Jesus knew his followers would be scared and he knew they would cry out to him, but he sent them anyway. Jesus sent them into the storm because he knew it was in the middle of the storm that he would reveal his love and mercy. He knew he would calm their storm.

Speaker 1:

I was absolutely fascinated when I read this because I thought of so many storms that I have been through in my life and I thought of how the Lord allowed me to be in that storm for a time so that he could reveal his love and mercy and rescue me. He knew it was the perfect experience for me to recognize that I couldn't manage the storm on my own and to turn to him. He also knew it was the perfect storm in which he could show me his love for me and his power to calm my storm. That strengthened my faith because at those moments in my storms, I knew that it was him that came and that he was the one who was there, and he was the only one that could calm my storm. Not only did he calm my storm, but he also calmed me. Looking back on my storms, I had never thought of these experiences in this way.

Speaker 1:

Jesus' disciples were his friends and they knew about God. They had faith, but the Lord knew that this situation would require more faith and that they would feel the need for God and cry out for his miraculous intervention. The Lord knew he would strengthen their faith when he did rescue them. We need to have both the intellectual understanding of God being there and the experience to need to act in faith, to call upon him. If we only think of faith as in something that we know, we look past the other half of what it means to have emunah, to reach out to God with confidence. Emunah also means steadfast In God's all-knowing. He allows us to experience storms for a time for our benefit and for our sanctification, so that our faith might become perfected.

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When we are in the storms of life, we often feel confused as to why we are going through this fearful experience. Why doesn't the Lord prevent the storm, we may ask. Another element of this type of faith in emunah is an expression of persistence or steadfastness in our faith. It is often in the difficult storms of our lives that a certain level of endurance is cultivated. Our faith becomes tenacious. So when we ask, why doesn't God stop the storm at the first drop of rain, there are many reasons and I believe one reason is because we need this environment to stretch us, to allow us to act in faith and then to wait and see the Lord's hand in our life. In these situations we have usually tried to do all we could and we run out of options, and we then know that it is God who rescued us At those moments. There is no denying that it is Him and we can't rationalize it away that we did it.

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Our faith and trust in God grows along with our understanding through each experience, step by step or line upon line, precept upon precept, as Isaiah describes in Isaiah 28, 13. The word of the Lord was unto them, precept upon precept, line upon line. Here a little and there a little. As our faith and trust grow, bit by bit, our confidence also grows and our hope in the Lord taking care of us also grows. Another verse containing the word Emunah is Deuteronomy 32.4. He is the rock, his works are perfect and all his ways are just a faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just as he Emunah here describes God's faithfulness towards man, emunah also translates faith into actions that align with and demonstrate your belief. How do you act when you believe that God is faithful to you? What is your mindset? Do you think differently when you believe, truly believe that God is faithful and will keep his promises to you? This refers to the faith that brings a sure hope that God will keep his promises to us.

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In his blog, pastor Richard Phillips explains Faith grasps things that are promised by God but are so far unfulfilled in our experience. We hope for power in the midst of weakness. We hope for peace in the midst of conflict and for joy in the presence of sorrow. For all these reasons, god's people require faith to persevere in a difficult world. And I would add that God's people require not only faith but hope to persevere in a difficult world. In describing this interplay between the development of faith and hope in our experience through the grace of God, romans 5, verses 1 through 4, reads Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom also we have access by faith, into this grace wherein we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also, knowing that tribulation worketh, patience and patience. Experience and experience hope.

Speaker 1:

The Hebrew word for hope is tikvah, which is a hope that does not disappoint, is firm and more than a dream, it is an expectation, like a rock you expect that you can rely on. In the scriptures, the Hebrew word tikvah is often coupled with the word emunah. Tikvah means hope and is used in Jeremiah 29, verse 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you tikvah, or hope and a future, and I love this verse. This is one of my favorite verses. This verse shows us that we can trust in God and we can hope in his promises, because he will not disappoint us.

Speaker 1:

Another scripture which relates to Tikvah is Hebrews 10-23. It reads Let us hold fast the confession of our Tikvah, or hope, without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Another scripture which relates to Tikvah is Ephesians 1-18, which says I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, that you may know the Tikvah or hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. Another scripture is Romans 5-5, which says this Tikvah or hope will not disappoint us because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. This is such a beautiful example of Tikvah.

Speaker 1:

To me, one meaning is that because God has poured his love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, our perspective has changed so that our hope is sure and we have a confident hope which will sustain us and not disappoint us. In 1 Timothy 1-1, it says Christ Jesus is our hope. Our hope is not in our circumstances. It is not simply a hope that we will get the answer that we're seeking in prayer. It's not hope in financial blessings or blessings of health, but it's a sure, steadfast hope with the confidence that we can trust in God, while looking forward with the assurance that he will protect us and care for us and bless us with the best gifts. Hope is incomplete without God. You may use the words universe, source, light, love or higher power. Our ultimate hope is in Jesus. Hope is a gift from our Savior, I am in awe of the power of hope.

Speaker 1:

I can't imagine living without hope for any length of time. When hope is gone and we truly believe that things won't get better, it is no wonder that depression sets in and thoughts of suicide can enter. I've had many experiences in the storms of my life when my faith has been stretched and when I have called out to God, acting in faith, to claim the promises that he has made to me. I have relied on him when there was no one else to rely on. I've gone through times when I felt like I was sinking in the storm to sea and I felt my hope waning like a bird trying to sing in the fiercest wind. And oh how sweet the feeling when hope distilled upon my soul like the ray of sunshine in the midst of my storms, I knew that hope wasn't something I could create. Hope is a beautiful divine gift from God. Lark felt hope from the Lord that she still had a purpose after losing her son, and she also received hope that she would heal. Additionally, lark felt hope that her son and her loving relationship continued and that he was progressing in the next life and fulfilling his mission.

Speaker 1:

If you are feeling a loss of hope. Lark and I would encourage you to keep reaching out. Reach out to family, friends, loved ones and, most of all, reach out to God. He is with you always, just like the bird that never stops singing in your soul. Look for every tender mercy to see the hand of God in your life. If you or a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call or text the suicide hotline 988. I'm sending you lots of love and lots of hugs. Thanks so much. Thanks for listening. I know you're busy. Did you know that you help spread the love by leaving your review and following? This helps increase our visibility so people can find us online. I really appreciate your help. I'm wishing you lots of love in your own hero's journey.

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Karen Hall

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